2002-01-25 - 6:00 a.m.
to all the people out there, this shot of jack goes out to you.
screaming out the window
watch me die another day
hopeless situation
endless price i'll have to pay
diary of a madman
walk the line again today
entries of confusion
dear diary, i'm here to stay
sanity now and beyond me
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
there's no choice
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel whole again
voices in the darkness
scream away my mental health
can i ask a question
to help me save me from myself
sanity now and beyond me
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
there's no choice
i will always love you
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i'm whole again
whevever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i'm whole again
i will always love you
there's no choice
This is my first entry in some time. I had a lot of time to think wile I was staring at the ceiling of my room on base. I kind of came to terms with some things. I am not very good boyfriend material. I drink too much, I go on too many combat missions, I disappear all the time, I don't know if I am mentally stable, I have a death wish, I do thing to risk my life like jump from plains, jump off bridges, test the limits of my motorcycle, test the limits of myself on many things. I don't think having a boyfriend that might die at any time is something any girl would want. Most of my friends think of me as the person I use to be. Things like getting in to fights at bars, getting arrested, and basically causing many problems. I kind of wonder who all knows about the two weeks I don't talk about when I was down at GA. Unless I told someone when I was drunk I don't think I told anyone. And so people will stop asking me about my third jump I will explain. I had a bad jump and my parachute didn't open until about 100 ft to 75ft. I was knocked out on the drop zone and dragged for a ways. By all rights I should be dead but I am not so leave it alone. If you want to know any thing else then ask me but you might not get an answer.
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