01-21-05 - 00:21
Shortly it will be time to wake from this coma I’ve been living.
Return to a life I don’t have, to a job I must find, and a home I don’t know.
I was staring out the window of a crumbling bombed out house, watching tracers fly over the heart of the city. It was one of the most moving things I have felt for
what seems like ages. A kind of morbid beauty that just overtook me. I stood frozen, unable to look away. Just watched as clouds of smoke rolled up from the ground as if made by the earth itself. I felt my grip on my rifle grow tighter, my hands became
steady, and my breathing slowed.
I wonder sometimes why the most vivid memories are of things I would wish to forget. Sometimes I can’t find a reason for anything. Nothing makes sense anymore. All I feel is hallow and empty. I can’t believe that anything’s sacred. Why do I feel so dammed alone?
