10-16-05 - 20:28
Not a bad day, not a bad day at all.
So things are looking up for me. Tomorrow I have a job interview that I have already been talked up the guy that does the hiring. It’s not a bad job. Ten something an hour. Nothing to make a career of but it's a start. Hopefully this works out. I had setup a plan for my self. That if in November I still didn't have a job I would return the army and take that damn promotion they dangled in front of me. Ft. Cambell Kentucky didn't sound that bad. My old Platoon Leader is a First Sgt. there. What could be more fun than being a door gunner on a black hawk (sarcasm is neat)?
Now the only down side to an interview on Monday is that my shower wont be fixed till Tuesday. Pip said I could clean up at his house before I head out. So that’s cool.
I got a call from Neika a day or so ago. She sounded worried for some reason. I was gone so I just got the message. I tried to call her but no response. A twelve pack of Killians and a pack of smokes later, I had played guitar till four in the morning. My fingers were raw and nothing was solved. I don't know why I still have a picture of her hanging in my room. It’s over and no matter how hard I wanted it to work it just couldn't.
I guess I just can't let myself get over it. I fell hard for her. Love, what is love? I can't describe it. The dictionary has about twenty different definitions for it but none feel right. I wish she would hate me. It would make it easer for both of us. But we split up due to time and circumstance. We both still love each other, but there is nothing we can do about it. Maybe in a different time or place. Maybe in a different life. But this life was not meant to be.
"And for all his nostalgia he felt not remorse. And the world moved on mercilessly."
