08-12-05 - 14:48
"Go to the grind it's all that I have
Work on and on with nothing to show
But a graying face in this dying place
That’s a lock in my solitude"
Dropkick Murphy’s
I was talking with a guy I served with a short time ago. A revelation came to me in the middle of our conversation. I guess that the reason I have had problems adjusting back to the real world is that when I left for over there I didn't expect to come back at all. I had already prepared to die. I Came to expect it. But it never came. I don’t know if I can express this in a way you can understand. I accepted my fate and rushed head on with out a glance back. I no longer fear death, and it's one of the most empty feelings I have ever experienced. All I have is my memories that I look back on and shutter. I have taken to writing down my time spent over there. I Want to see if putting it on paper will bring a new perspective or at least some peace.
