06-09-05 - 21:07
"I can't breathe at all
And it hurts to think
that time could heal my wounds
feeling I've been betrayed
Black Sunday still burns you in my thoughts
I can't sleep at all
Now you're gone away
I can't fake this anymore
Guess I could blame it all
on God's game
or explain what my life's for"
cold
I’m stuck in cedar falls for a little bit longer due to a situation I had to bail my brother out of. But family is family after all. A few days ago I officially left the army. I got a call from my DET. Sgt. telling me that my contract has ended and I have 90 days to turn my gear in. I would like to say I’m happy but I can’t. I’ve been thinking a lot about signing up with a Merc. Group and going back to Iraq. That seems to be the only place I “fit in”. If you could call that fitting in. It’s becoming hard to remember the last time I did something with people. I seem to have become a hermit of sorts, but in many different places. The last time I felt any form of peace I was just standing in a parking lot in the middle of a storm. It was somehow calming letting the water run over me. It felt like for one brief moment everything was okay. That it was right that I’m still alive. Now I just pray for another storm.
