03-05-05 - 16:46
I’m back. But what now? One thought would be to move to Des Moines for some time. Get a job in the law enforcement field. It’s not a great job but at least it's something I know. Or I could just throw a dart at a map and go there. Being back in the world just doesn’t feel right. Something is amiss. A few of the guys I’ve talked to are not doing too well ether, Cleger can't let go of the need to be prepared for an attack. Brick is going insane about living a domestic life, I just feel hallow. Like I left a big peace of myself over there. I’m still kind of messed up. Hands still shake a lot and one phone has been witness to me waking up not knowing where I was. I find myself reaching for a side arm that’s no longer there.
But whining serves no point; I just need to focus on What Now.
Fuck it, rock and roll
