03-15-06 - 04:53
""Do you know what your sin is?"
"What the hell, I’m a fan of all seven.
But right now, I gonna have to go with wrath." "
""Wrath is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury""
At the time, fury was all I had to cling to. I took it in to myself, made it as natural as breathing. Rage built up from seeing friends I made being struck down. The same people that only days before helped me in the motor pool, or kept me going on the 13 mile fun run in country. The same people that sat with me for hours trading stories from back home. Wherever that was for them. Some from Ga. some from Cali. Some from who knows where. But whatever the home there was always a link between us. When we would hear about the downed aircraft, or trapped patrol we could not stand by and do nothing. I would like to say we always made it in time, but the truth still eats at the back of my heart. "If only we were a few minutes quicker" times like that that all you have to turn to is fury. And gods help anyone that stands in your way. It is that mindset that makes you go on assault missions. Take them out for what they have done. Make them regret whatever they have done. Wrath is a close brother to pride. I never cared about my skill. At times I hoped that the enemy was better. That would give me the rest I burned for. A final solution to all my turmoil.
I know what I will do with my life for a wile. I am becoming a paramedic and will be one of the ambulance crew. In this calling I no longer need to take life, but I have the chance to give it back. I laugh some times at the thought of how many people I would have to save before I would receive absolution. But I know that that is forever out of my grasp. All I know now is that I can help others. "Evil triumphs when good men do nothing."
