07-04-06 - 03:45
�But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're planning to go about making your amends to the dead"
I know I will never come to terms with what I am. I have seen in to the depths of hell and came back. That�s not something you get over overnight. And I know addiction in many forms. The worst of all is adrenalin. Once you have come to know it, it is all that drives you the only thing you live for. The one thing that can make you whole. But it is also your downfall. The thing that takes your life in a heart beat. There is no feeling like when you should have died but didn't. Knowing that you are on barrowed time is the sweetest drug. But to live a life without any excitement is a death you suffer many times. What can I say, I must love pain. Waking up every day knowing that it will be the same mundane shit all over again. I am set for a war that moved along with out me. It�s not that I�m a war junky. But war is what I have become. There is no other way to go. I expect someone to kick down my door or to open fire on me at the store. It won�t happen but I am always on guard. I can do nothing for this. I sometimes drink to forget who I am. It is so much easer. But easy is never the right path. What else can I say, two piercing and a few new tattoos later and here I am. Crying about nothing.
If you want to see a destroyed man all you need is to look to me.
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